Recapturing Beauty Day 10: Making peace with God.

LAST DAY! 

Today I was challenged to feel God's love and to ask for help seeing me the way He sees me. This challenge reminded me a lot of one of my favorite childhood stories.

Have you ever read the book You Are Special by Max Lucado? It's the best children's book ever.

The idea of the book is that while the world judges each other and determines what makes for a good or a bad person, the Master carpenter made each one of them and he doesn't make mistakes. Each person he makes is special and is loved. I just love it! Go read the book right now. I'm sure it's in your nearest library.

I feel like I compare myself to others a lot. I notice things about people and I immediately compare those things to myself. That's not fair to me, considering everyone is different. Everyone has different struggles, different strengths, even different looks. I'm unique and therefore shouldn't compare myself to anyone.

I also put a lot of merit in how others view my accomplishments and failures. I try to be ambitious and prove to people that I'm not stupid. I have my moments but I definitely know how Hammy feels that moment when RJ infers that he is stupid.

With people, I may look stupid to them and those first impressions may be all they judge about me. However, God may think I do dumb things, but He knows my full potential. He knows what my greatest accomplishments and most embarrassing failures will be and despite all that, He will always love me. 

How did I see God's love today? 

I saw it in the sunshine. We were supposed to have snow a week ago, but for some reason, the sun persisted. It's a tender mercy that I'm thankful for. I'll try to be more thankful for snow in the coming days but for now, I'm REALLY glad when it's sunny.

I wish someone would invent goggles that you could put on and see yourself through anyone's eyes. You could see through your parent's eyes, your friend's eyes, your spouse's eyes, and you could even see through God's eyes. Wouldn't that be cool? Dove did something sort of like that. They had a person describe themselves and then they had someone else describe that person. Great video, great message. (Dove Real Beauty Sketches was the video if you missed out on that whole thing)

Like I said before in my "making peace with my face" post, I'm sure God sees me as beautiful, even when I don't feel like it, because he created me. I just need to remember that when I don't feel beautiful. That's the real challenge. 

I'm glad I did this 10 day challenge. It was good to re-examine how I feel about beauty and redefine it. I'm still a big believer in natural beauty and being comfortable in your own skin and your own style. I know I come from lines of beautiful and strong women. I'm aware of all the amazing things the body is capable of. I know that God created me in his own perfect way and will always love me. I've still got lots of room to grow, too!

It's time to move on to a new challenge and continue to love life like crazy.

Recapturing Beauty Day 9: Making peace with my body

The challenge today is to list ten things that we like about what our body does. So, here's my list.

10. I can wiggle my toes. Do it, it's quite satisfying. Especially in toe-socks.

9. My tongue can taste all sorts of wonderful foods.

8. I can smell good things and bad things. Isn't it fun when a smell brings back a memory? That's my favorite.

7. I can wiggle my ears.

6. I can create art and do intricate things with my hands.

5. I can remember lyrics to songs from years ago. My crazy brain can't remember what I had for breakfast but I could sing you every song I ever sung when I was a child in a car seat.

4. My body can experience happiness and pleasure through endorphins being released. :)

3. My body has the capacity to heal itself. It's amazing! Cells work together to constantly maintain our bodies and keep us healthy. They do this all on their own.

2. My brain has the capacity to think critically, be creative, be rational (or irrational), and control my body, even on a subconscious level. Our brains are fantastic!

And the #1 thing that I love that my body can do...

1. My body can create human life. My body isn't doing it right now, but someday I hope to. As my Freshman Biology teacher pointed out, "Women can grow a baby in 9 months. NASA can't even build a rocket in that amount of time." Incredible, no?

That's all folks. I love my body like crazy. 

Recapturing Beauty Day 8: making peace with my genes

I'm ok with my genes. Since being in biology, I now have a fascination with genes. It's crazy to think that out of more than a billion different combinations of alleles, I got the ones I did. And I wouldn't have it any other way!

Who do you think I look most like?

Got a pretty good mix I think. I definatly know I got my dad's blue eyes. The dark kind that can be greyish depending on what I wear. I think 2 of the 5 kids actually got my mom's light blue eyes. 

Someone once told me that I look like my grandma miller (my dad's mother). These are some pictures of her when she was my age. What a classic beauty! (She still is!)

Can you see the resemblance? I still can't get over how awesome these pictures are. 

I hope to research more about my family traits on both sides of the family. It puts a different spin on doing genealogy! If I had more than just a day for this challenge, I would have gathered more pictures for this post! Oh well.

I love my family and my genes like crazy! 

Recapturing Beauty Day 7: Making peace with my clothes

The challenge: Dare to wear what you want today!

I have a love-hate relationship with clothes. I'm a fan of classics and sometimes try new trendy things, but I feel like I can never look quite as put together as those Pinterest fashionistas. I always feel like my clothes just slightly miss the mark of stylish. The thing I'm trying to work on now is to like the clothes I already have and make those work, instead of only wanting what I don't have. There's a Sheryl Crow song about that. "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you have" (C'mon, C'mon). Besides, living on a budget makes it hard to justify spending money on clothes. I'd rather save up for a travel experience like scuba diving than splurge on a pair of jeans or the hottest accessories.

As I have worked on the Special Events staff, I get to stand for long periods of time in one spot, waiting for people to ask me questions. This gets really boring, so I "people watch". You should try it sometime, it's great fun. While doing this, I've noticed a couple things about the way women dress around here.
1. They can be in full makeup, hair, and a super cute outfit for an 8 AM class. (Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous?)
2. People look most confident when they are most comfortable in what they're wearing.

Comfortable clothes are usually the ones I gravitate towards. If I don't feel comfortable in it, then I don't wear it. However, there is a difference between being comfortable and being sloppy. I'm trying hard not to lean toward the sloppy side, even though I sometimes end up there. I've made an effort this semester to try to dress more professionally while still feeling comfortable with what I'm wearing. Part of the comfort aspect is my clothing being modest.

Now, I've noticed that the word "modest" has taken on a lot of different meanings. There's "frumpy modest" and "sexy modest" and "constricting modest" and way too many different "modests" for us to truly understand it anymore. In an effort to keep us all on the same page, let me define what being modest means to me. And this is just my opinion that you don't have to agree with, but it's my belief and I stand by it.

First off, modesty is a choice. We have this amazing ability to use our own conscious and choose what we believe. Everyone has that agency. I choose to be modest. It's not forced on me.

Second, modesty is a way to show respect to our bodies. As a member of the LDS church, I believe that our bodies are a gift from a loving Heavenly Father. They are essential to the plan of happiness and essential to become a God/Goddess like Heavenly Father. When you receive a gift, it is true that it becomes ours. My body is mine. It belongs to me and no one else unless I choose to share it with them. However, when we receive a very special gift, we treat it with respect and take special care of it. Here's an analogy: Your parents decide to give you not only a car, but a Ferrari in your favorite color. I highly doubt you're going to go out and trash that Ferrari. You'll be very selective about who gets to drive your Ferrari, what kind of things go in your Ferrari, and how your Ferrari looks on the outside. I see my body as a Ferrari. No way am I going to disrespect it. Dressing my body modestly is a manifestation that I love, celebrate, and respect my body. 

Those are the two principles that define what modesty is to me. There are other things that come specifically from my religion and are also a part of the Honor Code for BYU. I wear shirts that aren't too tight, cover my shoulders, aren't low cut in the front or back, and don't show my stomach or lower back. I wear pants, shorts, and skirts that aren't too tight, and come to the knees. These are the basic rules that I promise to live by. I don't ever feel like these guidelines force me to cover up bad parts of my body. I feel like these guidelines are just a way that I choose to respect my body and I feel more comfortable wearing these kinds of clothes anyways. Would you believe that even with all these "rules", I can still feel beautiful? Despite popular belief, feeling attractive and dressing modestly can go hand in hand. It's not about being "sexy" or getting attention (I don't understand sexy modest... it's an oxymoron) but more about feeling confident, comfortable, and beautiful.

So what did I wear today?

My favorite skirt - It's super soft and classic. I really can't go wrong with whatever I wear with it. I also work in a lab 4 out of 5 school days and for some reason, I always want to wear skirts on those days that I don't have a lab.
My favorite sweater - It's starting to get super cold here! And I was trying to go for the skirt and longer layer sweater look but I think that only works with short skirts. Oh well.
My favorite scarf - I got this scarf in Oaxaca, Mexico and I have worn it at least a couple times a month ever since then. I love the sparkle from the gold thread.
My favorite boots - They're the best, most comfortable boots ever. I don't know what drew me to them when I saw them in a second hand store, but it was like the Cinderella slipper for country girls. Apparently lots of girls wanted them but couldn't fit into them (or so I was told by the salesgirl). I've been in love with them ever since. And I'm pretty sure boots will never go out of style. At least in my book.

To prove I'm really just a normal girl, here's what I rocked after we got home from school.

Pajamas are always comfortable. Don't even care if it's a little sloppy. 

Now that you've heard my rant, I want to know what modesty means to you. Why do you wear the clothes you wear? What's your favorite outfit?

Recapturing Beauty Day 4: Making peace with my weight

Oh good. An easy day.

I don't have as hard a time with my weight as most women do. Actually, most women would probably hate me if I complain about my weight at all.

But let me ask those women: Does it bother you when people comment on your weight? Does it bother you when others encourage you to eat a certain way, as in hinting that you should change? Because of these comments people make, whether direct or indirect, do you sometimes think there is something wrong with your body? Let's not have a double standard going on here. Even skinny people get self conscious. Let's all share the love of keeping our bodies healthy and comfortable, whatever weight that may be. I mean, it would be crazy to think that we were all made to be the exact same size. That would make for a really boring world.

Don't mind me. Just wearing my hubby's super comfy sweatshirt after a particularly crazy day at work. Why can't girl's sweaters be this comfortable?

Sometimes I do feel like I'm too skinny. I am very conscious of how high my metabolism naturally is and I try to keep up with it. Eating is a regular habit of mine, believe it or not. I LOVE FOOD! Wouldn't be able to tell right? But it's true. Ask Austin. However, despite my efforts, it's a little frustrating when I feel like my weight limits me (i.e. I can't donate blood or plasma). A lot of the time, I feel like I need more muscle and need to be stronger. I actually am getting back into dance next semester and hope to prep for that after this challenge and during December (hint, hint, I've got a new challenge in mind coming up!).

Although I see ways to improve my body, weight is not that important to me. I don't step on a scale every day. I don't even do it once a month. As long as my body feels healthy, that is a measurement I can live with. The important part of making peace with my weight is to know that my worth is not determined by a number on the scale. 

On a more random note: I finally got a REAL fortune from my fortune cookie. You know, the kind that tries to predict your future. I interpret this particular statement to mean that I will 1) not die too young (yay), 2) still be married to my awesome Austin (YAY!), and 3) still be scuba diving, traveling, and adventuring when my hair goes gray (yay).

That's my random love for the day. I love fortune cookies and panda express like crazy! But seriously, who doesn't?

Recapturing Beauty Day 3: Making peace with my face

What's with all these hard challenges? More importantly, why are they so hard for me?

My face is not my favorite subject. I like my hair more than my face.

The challenge today is to reflect on why we wear makeup. Depending on our answers, we decide if we need a day without makeup or a day of reflection on makeup's place in our life. Here's the thing, I rarely wear makeup. I feel like I only make time for it when I'm going to important interviews or going out to a special place. It's not that I'm trying to "stick it to the man" or anything; I actually love makeup and I own a ton of it. This is my industrial size makeup box. Isn't it awesome?

I just never wear makeup anymore. I enjoy messing around with crazy colors and new looks, it's just not my priority in the morning. I feel like makeup takes up at least a 10-15 minute chunk in my morning and I'd rather spend that sleeping. So analyzing makeup's place in my life, I realized I could use some makeup to take care of myself.

I've had people tell me that I should wear makeup more. I still can't decide. Which ends up with me not wearing makeup because I am too lazy. Am I wrong in my laziness?

This is my "natural makeup face". Not the most "polished" look I've ever done. But it's a look I feel very comfortable with. Here's my supplies. Moisturizer, light foundation, blush, little brown eyeliner, mascara, and a little lipstick. 

By the end of the day, however, I remembered why I don't wear makeup! My skin freaks out and it causes some serious acne. So, I will be minimizing it to moisturizer, eye liner, mascara, maybe some blush, and maybe lipstick. Keep it simple, right?

Some girls will choose to wear more. Some less. I think as long as your makeup doesn't enslave you or make you feel/look fake, go for whatever you are most comfortable in. Go for the healthiest thing for your body. Go for whatever makes you feel truly beautiful. 

A note: as my own thought, I see our bodies as a masterpiece made by a perfect creator. I don't believe that God made our bodies and said to Himself, "Oops... That's not the most perfect body I've ever made. They're going to need some makeup for that." I think he made us (without makeup) and said, "They are perfect to me." 

I apologize for blogging so late. I got distracted and spent time with family. I don't regret it at all. :P Family is always more important. 

I love them like crazy.

Recapturing Beauty Day 2: Making peace with my hair

Today I was supposed to make peace with my hair.

Today was hard.

The challenge was to either go all natural today (no straightening, curling, product, nada) or to go for a new hair style we have always wanted to try but we think it won't look good with our hair. Now, I WAS going to wake up, take a shower, and go all natural. This plan failed when I accidentally slept in and had 15 minutes to get ready. So, I went with a style I knew to be easy, but had a hard time thinking I could pull it off. Today, I rocked the high bun. I think the bun is a little small and falls apart easily and I think my head looks funny because my hair is short now. BUT, remembering my challenge, I said to myself this morning, "Today, it will look good on me." I added some sentimental sparkle to help. I always see girls with cute little bows in their hair when they wear high buns, so I did it Madi style.

The big sparkly thing is the hair piece I wore for my wedding day, which is what I mean by "sentimental sparkle". I believe this is an important part of today's challenge. A lot of the idea is that I am defining why I do certain things and how I view myself. I wear this hair piece and feel good because I have good memories tied to it.

How I view my hair has been something that I've worked on for a while now (3 years and still working on it). I started by growing my hair out. I also stopped straightening it and curling it, except for special occasions. I used product to make it "not frizzy" and used some oil to keep it softer since my hair is coarse. I was to the point where it was super long and I felt mostly confident about my natural curl.

After I got married, I decided to see how attached I really was with my hair. There are some women out there who have long hair and are afraid to cut it. I never understood this until I was sitting in the salon chair, talking with my hairdresser about how I wanted to cut my hair. Fear struck me for a moment. Would I miss my hair? Would I still be confident about how I look with short hair? I still went ahead and cut it. The result? I kind of missed my long hair. I still do on some days.

Thinking about how I feel about my hair today, I am noticing that I am never happy with my hair. I feel like it's either too long, and I never do anything with it, or too short, and I still don't do anything with it. It's time to change that. I am choosing now to see my hair as a work of art all on it's own. What it does naturally should be celebrated! I can choose to work my own creativity with it by trying new styles and updos, but it's time to stop trying to "fix" my hair. Now that I think about it, my hair kind of matches my personality. It's a little on the unpredictable side.

So here's to continuing to make peace with my hair. I love it like crazy just the way it is.

Recapturing Beauty Day 1: Making peace with the mirror

Yesterday, a facebook friend of mine posted about how she was taking the BYU Recapturing Beauty Challenge. Always on the lookout to improve, I decided I would take part in this challenge also. The mission of this 10 day body image challenge is to stop women from being at war with their body. I find this to be a constant issue with females in today's society. It's important for us to love ourselves and take care of our wonderful and divinely made bodies. It's not too late to start and it's not BYU exclusive! Join me! https://recapturingbeauty.byu.edu/challenge/10DayChallenge2013.pdf

Today's challenge was to make peace with the mirror. The first step was to redecorate our dreaded mirror with inspirational quotes and messages to ourselves. I've done this before and I really enjoy the concept of looking to the mirror for inspiration and not to see what I need to "fix" in my appearance. For those non-morning people like me, looking in the mirror is a little nicer when there are encouraging or inspiring words to start our day. Who doesn't feel awesome when the sticky note on your mirror tells you that you're awesome?

The second step for the day consists of a mantra. The mantra for the day was ours to choose from our mirror. The one we choose should be a phrase we want most to believe in. I chose my favorite scripture of all time.

2 Corinthians 7:16

"I rejoice therefore that I have confidence in you in all things."

This scripture has been my favorite for a long time. I love the idea that not only does the Lord have confidence in me, but He's rejoicing about it. He's cheering me on! It's good to keep in mind that even when I don't believe in myself, or I feel like no one believes in me, God does. It's a good way to keep me from shutting my own dreams and lofty ambitions down.

Have I made peace with the mirror? I'm working on it. It's not a habit I can break in a day, but I hope to keep the idea of looking to the mirror for inspiration. It's one more step to help me love my body and life like crazy! :)

What are some inspirational quotes that you've come across? Comment with your favorite! I'll add them to the mirror if I like them... ;)